Earlier this year I posted a tale of woe about how my life has taken a turn for the disastrous. This is an official press release update for my readers and fans. You both know who you are.
Dad died in April. I put him to bed as normal and he couldn’t settle. I went in to check on him and he had a heart attack. I quickly called 000 and commenced CPR. During this, broke nearly all his ribs and knew that recovery was both impossible and undesirable but as instructed I continued till the Ambos got there. It was all over in a few minutes. I was calm and clear through the whole thing but the adrenaline was certainly pumping. The Ambos and police were quick and very professional. I can’t heap enough praise on them.
With Dad gone, life had completely changed again. I was completely alone for the first time ever and for months was daunted by the prospect of this. I stopped training and felt completely lost. It was clear the separation with Samantha was final and although she was a great help throughout the funeral, she entered into a new relationship with someone and moved out of our family home with him. I’ve never felt this isolated and depression looked like overtaking me so I absorbed myself into my work and traveled throughout the state. For some time I was on the road working every day and living in country hotels. I drank a lot and my fitness slumped.
Now, there’s that scene in the Terminator when they think they’ve killed it and it re-routes its internal power and fires back up again. This happens to me all the time. I have an internal black box with an optimism drive that kicks in when the chips are down. Gradually, I started to become accustomed to the solitude. After all, despite being married for 24 years, I have been on my own for most of it. Solitude is OK as long as it doesn’t get confused with loneliness. I eventually realized that I wasn’t really lonely and settled into a working relationship with my house and my cat. The need to replace Samantha dissipated and now I quite enjoy my routines. My kids turn up at various times, stay for however long they like, destroy the place and eat all my food. I am wealthier now than ever before and spend money on whatever takes my fancy.
Divorce is never pleasant but with some distance now since separation, I see the benefits. Samantha is obviously happier. I will progress toward that quite soon, the kids have adjusted to it. I can focus on my goals which were pipe-dreams while I was married and that is a pretty big thing when you are months away from 50. There’s nothing more debilitating than living your life unfulfilled and knowing that you will never will. The secret to a successful divorce is compromise. Sam and I made a pact that we would negotiate everything and we did. Not once did we fight over material things. I paid my way in child maintenance and she never complained. She took some material assets and I took others. The result is that we both have our stuff and functional lives and lawyers got nothing.
So that is how things are now. I have emerged from a horrible period and about to embark on some pretty decent adventures. I have no idea what is going to happen to me and that’s how I like it. Apart from cancer. That’s another story though. I promise that from now on it will be about kayaking and adventures.