Trials and Tribulations 2

09 Oct

Earlier this year I posted a tale of woe about how my life has taken a turn for the disastrous. This is an official press release update for my  readers and fans. You both know who you are.

Dad died in April. I put him to bed as normal and he couldn’t settle. I went in to check on him and he had a heart attack. I quickly called 000 and commenced CPR. During this, broke nearly all his ribs and knew that recovery was both impossible and undesirable but as instructed I continued till the Ambos got there. It was all over in a few minutes. I was calm and clear through the whole thing but the adrenaline was certainly pumping. The Ambos and police were quick and very professional. I can’t heap enough praise on them.

With Dad gone, life had completely changed again. I was completely alone for the first time ever and for months was daunted by the prospect of this. I stopped training and felt completely lost. It was clear the separation with Samantha was final and although she was a great help throughout the funeral, she entered into a new relationship with someone and moved out of our family home with him. I’ve never felt this isolated and depression looked like overtaking me so I absorbed myself into my work and traveled throughout the state. For some time I was on the road working every day and living in country hotels. I drank a lot and my fitness slumped.

Now, there’s that scene in the Terminator when they think they’ve killed it and it re-routes its internal power and fires back up again. This happens to me all the time. I have an internal black box with an optimism drive that kicks in when the chips are down. Gradually, I started to become accustomed to the solitude. After all, despite being married for 24 years, I have been on my own for most of it. Solitude is OK as long as it doesn’t get confused with loneliness. I eventually realized that I wasn’t really lonely and settled into a working relationship with my house and my cat. The need to replace Samantha dissipated and now I quite enjoy my routines. My kids turn up at various times, stay for however long they like, destroy the place and eat all my food. I am wealthier now than ever before and spend money on whatever takes my fancy.

Divorce is never pleasant but with some distance now since separation, I see the benefits. Samantha is obviously happier. I will progress toward that quite soon, the kids have adjusted to it. I can focus on my goals which were pipe-dreams while I was married and that is a pretty big thing when you are months away from 50. There’s nothing more debilitating than living your life unfulfilled and knowing that you will never will. The secret to a successful divorce is compromise. Sam and I made a pact that we would negotiate everything and we did. Not once did we fight over material things. I paid my way in child maintenance and she never complained. She took some material assets and I took others. The result is that we both have our stuff and functional lives and lawyers got nothing.

So that is how things are now. I have emerged from a horrible period and about to embark on some pretty decent adventures. I have no idea what is going to happen to me and that’s how I like it. Apart from cancer. That’s another story though. I promise that from now on it will be about kayaking and adventures.





Posted by on October 9, 2012 in Uncategorized


6 responses to “Trials and Tribulations 2

  1. "The Ancient Seakayaker"

    October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    Brad, You’ve still got your mates and although we will continue to put shit on you, we’ll be there.

  2. rjimlad

    October 11, 2012 at 10:24 pm

    Thanks for the support but are you saying you’ll always be there to put shit on me? What I really need is a long paddle, some lukewarm coffee and your constant chatter. It’s time for us to kickstart the paddling season and take the klan kore out for a day.

  3. Simon

    October 13, 2012 at 7:29 am

    Hi Brad, tough times that’s for sure. Adventure is the key. I have gone through my own battles recently and am also going for the “Adventure Therapy” solution. Life is too short. Take care.

    • rjimlad

      October 13, 2012 at 7:51 am

      Good to hear from you again Simon. Would love to have a paddle with you some time.

  4. "The Ancient Seakayaker"

    October 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    Brad, As soon as we get this HCC done and dusted, I’m fully occupied being team manager, coach, chaplain, etc etc. However after that (another 2 weeks) I’m ready to go sea kayaking, touring, coffee drinking et al; at all times ready to offer advice on any subject you wish to nominate or relate to you old “sea dog” stories from my repertoire.
    Simon, I sincerely hope your “own battles” have been satisfactorily resolved and echo Brad’s wish to go paddle again with you soon.

  5. Simon

    October 13, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    We should be in the Hunter in a couple of weeks or so, starting our trip around oz. Some long overdue paddling will occur. Will keep you posted. We might even be able to pop our head in at Klanacopia if the timing is right.


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